Generation Gap

This weekend I drove to Iowa for my grandmother's 90th birthday. There is almost 60 years that separates me from her and so there are several differences in our languages as well as a large generational gap. The following is a small compilation of information I learned this weekend:

1. I asked her where she kept the towels in the bathroom. She responded with, "They are on the east side of the commode." First of all, where I come from you use directions like 'left', 'right', 'above', or 'below'. Not compass directions. And secondly, who says 'commode'? We use the word 'toilet' or 'potty' if you have kids, not 'commode'.

2. I learned what gout (the 'ou' is pronounced like the word 'ouch') was. I also learned how to get rid of it. I'm not sure how you get it, but apparently it is painful and really hurts your big toe. You are supposed to drink lots of cherry juice to get rid of it.

3. Food on the Senior Menu at the Fairfield Family Restaurant has little or no salt... or flavor for that matter.

4. Grandma saves everything and I mean everything. We have to save the rubber band from around the daily newspaper. We must wash, dry and save the mash potato containers from our to-go order from KFC. Someone may need to take some leftovers home after eating at the house. Apparently those are perfect size for home carry-out. We also are not allowed to throw out aluminum foil or sandwich bags. You just rinse them off, let dry and reuse. Seriously!

5. Werther's Originals are the candy of choice for senior citizens.

I love my grandmother, even after 90 years, she is still spry and has all her barrings about her. I thought she might get a kick out of this blog about her, but I'll have to increase the font and print it out and send in the mail because she has never been on the Internet and certainly doesn't understand what a blog is. She's probably better off not getting online, anyway.

Just Braggin'

Georgia 42

Florida 30

The Absurdity of College Mascots

Luckily, I am a huge University of Georgia fan because I was looking on the internet at several colleges and their mascots, and there are some ridiculous representatives. Georgia's mascot, Uga, was voted the #1 mascot last year by Sports Illustrated. I understand that not all universities and colleges can compete with that, but they have got to try a little harder.

Here is my list of the top five goofiest mascots in college sports:

The Santa Cruz Banana Slugs

Delta State Fighting Okras

Scottsdale Community College Fighting Artichokes

Evergreen State College Geoducks

University of Kentucky Wildcats

Heartless Storm Watcher

Today I was going to blog on how angry I was that all my shows were canceled due to the major storm that blew through Louisville. I felt that the meteorologists were a little extreme in their coverage of the weather. Once or twice a year, a big meteorological event happens and I felt like these guys live for that once or twice a year occurance, so they cancel all shows so we can listen to them. And let's face it... watching a Doppler Radar is very uninteresting. I was not happy. But, then God, like He is so great at doing slapped me with a reality check. Why was I so upset? So I missed some shows... did I lose my house because of the tornado that touched down? Did any of my family members get injured or lose their lives? Thank God, no! And what if watching these boring radar and sky tracker shots actually saved some lives? Wouldn't it be worth it? Absolutely! My issue should have been more about why I cared so much that I missed my shows. Maybe I watch too much TV. I'll ponder that later. Right now. I'm gonna see if I can download last night's Survivor China and ER from iTunes.

Urinal Courtesy

In men's restrooms, why is it an unspoken rule that when someone is using the urinal, you must never use the one beside them? I was just thinking!!

The Happiest Place On Earth

Today we spent the entire day at Disney World, the "happiest place on Earth." Is it really? I think for a lot of people it is, especially for kids. What makes Disney the happiest place? I was thinking about it today as I was at Pecos Bill's in Frontier Land eating my $13.00 cheeseburger, fry and Diet Coke meal. How sad is it that church isn't known by the same moniker? I feel we as the body of Christ can learn some things from Walt and his crew of Imagineers. The following are a list of my observations:

1. The most important people in the park are the visitors
application: Why are our church visitors not the most important people in service?

2. The second most important people in the park are those who keep the park clean (mostly those who work behind the scenes)
application: Why do people need to carry a title and be noticed before they can add to the Kingdom of God. What if the most saught after position in the church was the parking lot attendant?

3. Organization, organization, organization (everything works like clockwork in the Magic Kingdom... everything from the person who makes the chili-cheese fries to the bathroom attendant... they know their job and they do it)
application: Organization, organization, organization (know your role in the body of Christ and fulfill it... if you are an ear, don't watch. If you are an eye, don't listen. If you are a hand, don't walk. If you are a toe... well, you get the idea)

4. Disney's newest promotion is that it is the "Place Where Dreams Come True"
application: What if church really was the place where dreams come true? I think some times church is subconsciously promoted as the place where we tell you what you can't do anymore.


You get the point. What would happen if we totally changed our way of thinking in the church? If we learned from the Magic Kingdom and revamped our thought process in the body of Christ, could church trully become not only the happiest place on Earth but even the place where dreams really do come true? Where lost loved ones are saved. Where people are delivered from addictions. Where people can turn their lives over to Christ. I am convinced that just like a didn't mind eating my $13 burger at the park that brought me and my family such happiness, if people really began looking at church in the same light as Walt Disnet World, they too might not mind giving back to the House in tithes, giving and service. I was just thinking!

Death and airports

Today I flew with my family to Florida on vacation. As we were getting ready for take-off, I was gripped with fear for a second. My Pastor tells me all the time that flying is safer than driving. So, why don't I feel that way? Besides the fact that the terminology they use in airports is morbid (ie. terminal... departure...) I also attribute this to the the idea that we as humans aren't comfortable if we are not in control. Such is the problem with people committing their lives to Christ. The idea of handing the reigns of life over to God scares some people. But, as we were making our final decent (see there's one of those morbid words again) into Orlando and I heard the Captain say we were landing, a sense of relief came over me. I realized that my life was in the hands of someone who had been through this very same thing time and time again. What would happen if we could get people to think about following Christ the same way? He's been through it. He's experienced more than we ever would. Why can't we just relax, enojy the flight and let Him take control and help us to our destinations. Think about it.

And so it begins...

I've just gotten both of my daughters in bed for the night and I am finally sitting here to write my first rambling on my very own personal blog. I have been putting this off for years because I thought that no one reads this stuff. I thought this as I was reading a friend of mine's blog (www.noefool.com). Then it dawned on me that I was reading his stuff. Surely I've got more interesting stories than he does. Your welcome Clay So here I begin. The first of a long line of posts.

Three things I learned yesterday during our baptismal service:

one:

Water makes people lighter

two:

Some people should not be asked if they have something to say before they take the plunge

three:

God doesn't keep a list of people who signed up to be baptised

After only 30 people signed up to be baptised, Pastor and I (and Bro. Noe) dunked almost 80 people in a service that lasted well over 3 hours. I'm glad God doesn't keep a list of baptism candidates. Had He, I wouldn't have been as touched by the genuiness of His people.